Sunday, January 3, 2010

"This book"

I know, I know, I know. The topic this month is, "believe." I get it. I've been talking about "believing in yourself," but yanno what? Sometimes it's kinda hard. I get that. On a night like tonight, I get that more than anyone.

Here's the thing. It's sort of a dirty little secret. But I'm about to let the cat out of the bag.

A year ago, I wrote a book.

Yep, I, me, April Schmidt wrote a book.

Guess what it's about? Come on, guess........ it's going to be shocking.

A little boy with autism.

It's a children's book. A picture book, in fact. And here's the story of how it came to be.

About a year ago, Luke and I were having a really bad day. Sometimes we have those. Luke is REALLY into books and as we were laying in bed trying to wind down this bad day and put it behind us, I was really wishing I had a book. This book. A book that he could "read" and relate to. A book that he could look at the pictures and say, "Hey that's me! I am not alone!" So as I continued to lay with Luke and attempt not to fall apart so that I could escape his room only to go put Jared to bed with a brave face.... I started thinking about this book. And not to get all "Hi I'm Stephenie Meyer and Twilight came to me in a dream," or anything.... but all of a sudden, I could see the this book. The words.....just came. The pictures....just came. And there it was.... this book.

So I immediatley called my writer friend Myra and told her the story. She said, "Well how long will it take you to write?" To which I responded, "It's already written." I literally put my fingers on this very keyboard and the words virtually typed themselves. Then a few days later Jeff came home from wherever he was out of town and since my art skills are about as mad as.... well they aren't ~ Jeff feverishly got to work creating pictures to match my words. And he was awesome about it. He asked me a lot of questions and drew up a story board and drew and re-drew knowing all along that no matter what ever happened with this book his pictures would never been seen because, well..... he's better than I am but he's not quite that good. But he still gave it 110% for which I am thankful. (Woah, I need to catch my breath after that thing I will loosely call a sentence!)

I never set out to be a writer, an author. But... this story obviously needs to be told, right? So I actually started doing some research on how to get this book published. I even bought a few books on how to publish books which is kind of wacky but I went for it. So over the course of the last 12 months I submitted my book to a grand total of 3 publishers. 2 of which outright rejected it and 1 never responded at all. I'm ok with that. Then my life got sorta busy with a billion other things and I put this book on a shelf. And kept saying I'd get to it.


Well, I'm getting to it.


Before me sits an envelope and in the envelope is this book and I'm mailing it out to a publishing house tomorrow. This is a publisher that specializes in books about autism. But, so were 2 of the others. That's OK. Rejection is ok. I didn't set out to become an author so if this never happens I'll truly be ok with it.

And yet, in the last year I have told a very small small select few people about this book. Because even though, "I don't care what happens," I think in a way if nothing ever happens with this book I will sorta take it personally because the story belongs to Luke. And you can 'dis me all you want by saying you don't like my blog, but you can't 'dis Luke by saying you don't like this story.

His story.

So getting back to believing. Because I promised I would blog about that very word this month.

I need my dear readers to believe in me right now. And to believe in this book.

Which, by the way is called....

Sometimes I'm Like A Puzzle.


And in case any potential publishers visit my blog to see if anyone gives a rip about what I have to say, I shamelessly now ask you to tell a handful of people about my little blog and to become followers. It's imporant that publishers think I'm cool and have lots of followers! And believe me when I say, that yes, I would like this book to be published. But NOT because I want to be the next Stephenie Meyer or even the next Eric Carle. But because, I believe (dang! there's that word again and I didn't even try that time!) this story needs to be told. Because with the number of diagnosed cases of autism skyrocketing, society needs to gain an understanding of what autism means and fit it into their defintion ~ a new definition ~ of "normal."

So thanks for believing in me. And thanks for reading. And if you're reading and aren't a follower, please become one. Maybe someday I'll send you a copy of this book.








............... stay tuned!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Believe in the moments...big and small


Believe in miracles.


Wherever you think they come from.


However you think they come to be.


Just believe that they do, in fact happen.


And while we're on the topic, just what IS a miracle anyway?



Right now, people are talking about the miracle of the birth of Christ. OK that can be considered a miracle.






Sometimes I think it's a miracle that Luke can I can get through Kroger outburst free and I've only spent $20 extra to keep him happy and not $50 and I only forgot 2 things and not 10.






Sometimes I think it's a miracle that everyone in my house has clean underwear on any given day. And I'm not saying that to be funny. I'm saying it because it's true.






My point is, miracles do NOT need to be these "major events." They certainly can be, but don't have to be. Miracles are all around you, everywhere you look. Believe they can happen.






I've mentioned before that my older son Jared was born with an extremely serious heart condition, transposition of the great vessels. He should have died. 25 years ago, the surgery that Jared had didn't even exist. 25 years ago, he would have died. Period. They wouldn't have even bothered trying.

This was the time of my life when I started believing.


Believing in miracles.


Believing in each other.


Believing in myself.


I never thought, ever thought that I would, or even COULD survive that time. It was so dark. So so dark. Our window of hope was so small. The mountain we had to climb was so very high. I was young. My marriage was new and my body was physically broken from giving birth. I remember starting the days after having Jared.... standing in the shower just sobbing quietly. And I'd stay in the shower for a really long time, hoping that if I stayed in long enough, by the time I got out my problems would be gone. They weren't. Sometimes you just have to put on a brave face and fake it 'til you make it. And that's just what I did. I realized then that my life was no longer all about me and that my number one job was to be strong for Jared and to get him through this obstacle. I had to push through. I believed in myself.






One of the somewhat ironic things, looking back, is that you show up at the hospital and are just given a surgeon. It's an emergency situation so there's not really time for second opinions or researching other options. I assure you I have done WAY more research to find a good hairdresser than I did to find the surgeon who would open up my 8 day old baby from top to bottom and operate on the most imporant organ of his body which happens to be the size of a walnut, backwards, and full of holes. Call it luck or call it a miracle. We got the best surgeon in the world. Dr. Edward Bove at the University of Michigan. We got the man who completed the entire surgery and for some unknown reason just didn't like the way it looked and started all over. And Jared has never, EVER had a problem since (knocking aggressivley on wood). I'm sticking with miracle on this one.


And then there's believing in each other. A situation like this one takes a village. This is not a journey that you go through alone. You almost want to, but you can't. Dr. Bove, I believe in you. Every single person from St. Mary's Hospital where Jared was born to Spectrum Hospital where he had his first surgery, to the helicopter pilot, and finally to the UofM hospital, I believe in you. Every.single.one.of.you. Jeff, I believe in you. Cuz I never, ever thought our marriage would survive such a challenge. Our family... I believe in you... because never ever before has a family rallied together to form such a united front. My aunt MaryAnn cooked for us and brought food to the hospital. Each and every one of you cried with us. Held our hands. Were just there. Gave us support in so many ways. People came out of the woodwork that were friends of our parents and families, people we didn't even know. Strangers to us sent us money so that we could afford to stay AT the hospital and be with Jared at all times. I know that helped speed his recovery, and ours, too. And mostly, my dear Jared ~ I believe in you. The moment you were born I knew you were a soul to be reckoned with. I was right.... nothing can stop you. NOTHING. You have NO IDEA how much I believe in you.






OK so my point in all of this is that this is a big one. I mean 8 day old baby survives open heart surgery. Big miracle. Big things to believe in. But, BUT this "big" thing to believe in was made up of a million "little" things to believe in. Little things that could just pass us by each day.... stop and take notice.




Believe in the moments. The big ones. The little ones.






Believe in yourself.


Believe in each other.


Believe in miracles. They are everywhere.








"Don't believe in miracles - depend on them." Laurence J. Peter


.... and yes, Jared still sleeps with that yellow giraffe, every single night!!!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

I believe....

I need to share this hilarious post!




Anyone with boys will laugh right loud!


http://www.cjredwine.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Believe


Today I begin what will be a month long topic. Now, I know what most of you are thinking, "That's great, but you only blog about once a month." I'm really going to try to blog two times a week. Yes, you heard it here first ~ two times a week. They aren't always going to be profound, earth shattering, life changing blogs (ha ha!) but I will try to put words out more regularly.

Believe.

It is my FAVORITE word. I have it all over the place. Plaques, signs, jewelry, ornaments, you name it. I surround myself with the word "Believe."

Now, I have to lay down some foundational groundwork here that is somewhat of a touchy subject. It's about God. I "believe" in God, but I don't "believe" in religion. Hm. That is to say that religion is not for me. If it's for you, I am really happy for you. It's just not for me. Don't want to get too deep into this topic. I hope that's enough.

The reason I explain that, is because believe is usually a word associated with religion. You see it a lot this time of year, "Believe in the miracle of Christ," and of course, "Believe in Santa."

And although those are great applications of the word, they aren't why I became a fan.

Here's what it means to me ~

Believe in miracles (wherever you think they come from)

Believe in each other.

Believe in yourself.